When having it all, isn’t really all you expected it to be…

being an entrepreneur

So this is probably going to be the most transparent thing I’ll ever write about my life or my business.

I turned 40 this year and have struggled to really “find” myself a large part of my life.  I have always been motivated by achievement and accomplishments.  If a problem arises, I just work harder and longer to power through it.  As an entrepreneur – that is even MORE true!

The problem now is that age 40, I am tired!  From the outside, I have what many believe is the dream life.  I have the “McMansion” in San Diego, the luxury sports sedan, a husband of 13 years that loves me, a multiple six figure business that allows me to travel the world, and the most adorable little doggy in the entire world!

But despite it all, I feel like my life has gotten so big that don’t remember why I wanted any of it!  You see, I have been so busy trying to “get it all” or “have it all” that I don’t know why I really wanted it!

When you launch a business or become an entrepreneur, you really must have a “why.”  You know… that reason that you get up each morning when things get tough.  No matter how much you love your job or your business, there WILL be days that you feel like you made a mistake and aren’t on the right path!

For me, my “why” has always been my family and freedom – the ability to pick up and go spend time with the people I love any time I want.  I have worked hard to build a business that allows that.  But recently, I had a few business “glitches” that really made me question why I was working so hard for all of this.  (I’ll tell you all about those in another post – but just know they were biggies!)

My husband is an entrepreneur as well.  But his income always seems to be the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Then in the best years, we owe Uncle Sam large amounts of money!   (Unfortunately they stopped allowing taxpayers to average their income together to even out those highs and lows!!!)

One of the focuses of my business is helping women launch businesses.  When we first start together, one of the first conversations we have is that when you are launching a business, you want to keep expenses down until revenues can pay for expansion.  But when you’re busy running a business (or a life), sometimes things start to slip through the cracks.  Bills start to go up.  You hire one more staff person in anticipation of growth.  You really want that dream house or new car.  Then one day, you wake up, and you feel like everything is out of your control and you don’t really remember why you wanted any of it!

A recent occurrence, which is totally out of character for me, is that I’ve been waking up with no real motivation to move the balls forward…. By midway through the day, if I’ve gone to the gym, I may be able to power through it, but it is REALLY easy to get sucked in to netflix and just start feeling down in the dumps – not really wanting to do anything of substance!

Here’s the thing, I’m not telling you this to get any kind of response, other than to know, “you’re not alone.”

Building a business, or being an entrepreneur is NOT always easy. There are ebbs.  And there are flows!  Enjoy the flows.  Power through the ebbs, and have a group of people you can trust to be transparent with!  It’s a lot more bearable with a group of others around you!!

And if you ever need a pick me up – just reach out to me.  I get it!  I could never in a million years imagine going back to work for someone else.  But that doesn’t mean it’s always roses for me as an entrepreneur!

You’re not alone!

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